Relationships

Not Included in the Plans

Being part of a couple means sharing the joys and work of celebrations, but some couples do not really do it in a balanced manner. One person will make all the plans, and they will then call upon those who have always been helpful in the past to execute them. They forget their partner is there and willing to participate, and that person feels as if they are unloved. They might have no way to express their feelings, so they instead act out like a small child.

They can do this in several ways, but many times they simply do things that will push their partner’s buttons. If cooking is on the agenda, they will find a reason to suddenly take over the kitchen. This delays their partner’s ability to get the cooking completed, and they may have to stay up late to get any dishes they need prepared. It leads to fatigue for both of them, and then the fighting might begin if their delaying tactic is successful.

Another way to prevent a partner from enjoying the occasion with acting out is to invite people over just as their partner is at their busiest. They will feel the need to pay attention to these house guests, but their frustration could be simmering just under the surface. As soon as the guests are gone, the partner will feel the pressure double as they try to make up for lost time. This is another any to invite an argument before the festivities begin, and it is often a successful way to derail plans.

Disruption is a great way to get a partner’s attention, but it can weaken or destroy the relationship if it occurs too often. Even if a person only does it once, they might find it can put them on the wrong side of their partner.